Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Dear Doctor.... Part One

Last night I saw a post on babydickey.com where the mama, Emily, wrote up a first draft to the OB who cut her. It got me thinking in honor of Cesarean Awareness Month I would finally get all my feelings out in tear up letters to the OB who cut me first.

Dear Doctor K,
       I very much loath you. I feel ruined by what you did to me. I was young and naive. Yes I should have been better informed to tell you where you could shove it when you "suggested" I just have a cesarean. I should have known that you were no good when you asked me "If this was a one night thing or do you know the guy"! What the hell was I thinking by staying with you. I know what it was. I thought that a nice office and good exam rooms meant you were an amazing doctor who cared for his patients. Why else would woman keep going back? Little did I know that you just looked out for your own schedule. I can't believe I trusted someone like you to care for me and my unborn child. You could have easily ruined my fertility and you have defiantly ruined easily having a vaginal birth for the rest of my life. Did my child die? No. Did I have complications? No. These things don't mean that I am anymore happy about it. Yes I fully agreed to my cesarean with open arms. I never would have, if I had ever known the possibility that I may never get a to experience what my body is fully capable of because you cut me. Yes Doctor K you have truly made an impact on my life. You have shown me that not all doctors are gods and many of you do stupid things for your own leisure. Some, not all, of you willing risk the lives of patients just so you can be home for diner! I cringe when I hear a woman say she is going to your practice. I can tell you I will never forget you, but the memory of you is strolling into the OR saying what a great day it was. I am blessed to have my son, but the way he came into this world will forever be a heart breaking event in my eyes!

1 comment:

  1. Awesome letter. I really need to write mine (more than the "you're a bitch" that I managed to get out in the 1st draft, haha). I just feel like I can't get it out... that it will be 10 pages long - full of incoherent and angry thoughts that don't make sense. I suppose that's what a draft is, but I guess I just can't bring myself to do it yet. Talking about it last night at our ICAN meeting was the first time in quite awhile I've said any of that out loud.

    But reading your letter is inspiring to me - to just sit down and write my own letter!

    Sorry about your experiences :(

    Emily @ Baby Dickey

    ReplyDelete