Recently the author of Momotics, Danielle, and Theresa from HealthyBabyNetwork did a Post Cesarean Feelings Survey. Today Danielle posted the positive feelings for the survey. I personally took the survey and thought it was very well written and enjoyed it. A couple people have said that they feel it was biased.
On to what I was going to write about. There were a couple comments, in my personal opinion, that completely demeaned the feelings of negativity that some mothers had. Call me sensitive if you would like, but some of the mothers with positive feelings seemed to think that just because they had a great experience that means everyone should. Maybe that is generalizing a little too much but when someone makes comments like the "healthy baby " comment, it doesn't get the point across. It just makes woman who have had negative experiences resent what comes out of the mouth of the person who commented. Maternity care needs to get back to caring for the emotional states of woman as well as the health and well being of mom and baby.
For many cesarean mothers they believed they would be having a vaginal birth and that is what they had prepared for. They didn't expect to have major abdominal surgery. They didn't expect to have a more difficult time breastfeeding.(Although that isn't always the case) They didn't expect to have to recover and tend to a incision on the stomach. Woman with traumatic experiences especially, were not expecting to have feelings of anger and grief over their lost birth experiences. It is probably very difficult for woman with a positive experience to understand where this trauma and anger comes from. But please know that those feelings are there and just because you don't understand them doesn't make them any less real.
We as woman need to take time to understand the feelings of each other. A man will never know what it is like to be pregnant, to birth vaginally or by cesarean. As much as the men in our lives love us and try to understand it will never fully click in their minds. They experience something completely different than us. They can go through the trauma and pain just like we do but will never have the same experiences. We need to stand up together and support. If you had a great birth with your section, AWESOME. You are lucky that you enjoyed it and don't feel you were cheated. But please help woman who aren't as lucky. We wish we hadn't had a traumatic experience and that our child's birthday wasn't clouded with those awful feelings of something that we have lost. It is our responsibility to be there for each other. We need to have each other for support because if we can not even support woman through a birth how do we expect to do anything as a society.
I do believe there is a way to have a positive necessary cesarean. There are cases where moms truely need a cesarean and ICAN does have a link for a family centered cesarean. It is possible. Not every cesarean is negative but their are many that are and being supported is the only way to get through the pain of it all!
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Dear Doctor.... Part One
Last night I saw a post on babydickey.com where the mama, Emily, wrote up a first draft to the OB who cut her. It got me thinking in honor of Cesarean Awareness Month I would finally get all my feelings out in tear up letters to the OB who cut me first.
Dear Doctor K,
I very much loath you. I feel ruined by what you did to me. I was young and naive. Yes I should have been better informed to tell you where you could shove it when you "suggested" I just have a cesarean. I should have known that you were no good when you asked me "If this was a one night thing or do you know the guy"! What the hell was I thinking by staying with you. I know what it was. I thought that a nice office and good exam rooms meant you were an amazing doctor who cared for his patients. Why else would woman keep going back? Little did I know that you just looked out for your own schedule. I can't believe I trusted someone like you to care for me and my unborn child. You could have easily ruined my fertility and you have defiantly ruined easily having a vaginal birth for the rest of my life. Did my child die? No. Did I have complications? No. These things don't mean that I am anymore happy about it. Yes I fully agreed to my cesarean with open arms. I never would have, if I had ever known the possibility that I may never get a to experience what my body is fully capable of because you cut me. Yes Doctor K you have truly made an impact on my life. You have shown me that not all doctors are gods and many of you do stupid things for your own leisure. Some, not all, of you willing risk the lives of patients just so you can be home for diner! I cringe when I hear a woman say she is going to your practice. I can tell you I will never forget you, but the memory of you is strolling into the OR saying what a great day it was. I am blessed to have my son, but the way he came into this world will forever be a heart breaking event in my eyes!
Dear Doctor K,
I very much loath you. I feel ruined by what you did to me. I was young and naive. Yes I should have been better informed to tell you where you could shove it when you "suggested" I just have a cesarean. I should have known that you were no good when you asked me "If this was a one night thing or do you know the guy"! What the hell was I thinking by staying with you. I know what it was. I thought that a nice office and good exam rooms meant you were an amazing doctor who cared for his patients. Why else would woman keep going back? Little did I know that you just looked out for your own schedule. I can't believe I trusted someone like you to care for me and my unborn child. You could have easily ruined my fertility and you have defiantly ruined easily having a vaginal birth for the rest of my life. Did my child die? No. Did I have complications? No. These things don't mean that I am anymore happy about it. Yes I fully agreed to my cesarean with open arms. I never would have, if I had ever known the possibility that I may never get a to experience what my body is fully capable of because you cut me. Yes Doctor K you have truly made an impact on my life. You have shown me that not all doctors are gods and many of you do stupid things for your own leisure. Some, not all, of you willing risk the lives of patients just so you can be home for diner! I cringe when I hear a woman say she is going to your practice. I can tell you I will never forget you, but the memory of you is strolling into the OR saying what a great day it was. I am blessed to have my son, but the way he came into this world will forever be a heart breaking event in my eyes!
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Cesarean Awareness Month!
April 1st kicked off the first day of cesarean awareness month, a cause that is very much embedded in me now! Besides childhood cancer awareness, which is in September, I don't know a cause that is more important, for me anyway!
When I had my most recent cesarean it brought out many emotions that were new to me. Although I felt tricked with Landon's birth, this was different! This was a true and heart breaking let down. I didn't know the traumatizing feeling other woman felt, until Emmie came into this world. I unfortunately felt like she was just ripped out of me. How sad is it to fell as if the child you carried for nine plus months isn't even yours! But this is a feeling that all to many woman go through. Yes it is true that moms want a healthy baby, But it is also true woman want a birth that they can feel like they will cherish forever. Some woman, I include myself in this, feel like they will never be able to recover. Some simply won't!
The International Cesarean Awareness Network, ICAN for short, is an organization who is trying to help inform woman of the unnecessarily high cesarean rate.(Which is at an all time high of 32% as of 2007) The hospital my son was born at had a rate of 29.53%. These rates are truly unacceptable. Woman need to be informed of all their choices. Many woman of childbearing age have no clue about these things. I know as a former uneducated mama myself I knew nothing of cesareans or their sky rocketing rates. ICAN wants to let moms know their cesarean rights, their vbac rights and even vaginal birthing rights. Even if you are a first time mom, the the information ICAN gives on pregnancy can take you farther away from the possibility of an unnecessary cesarean. Some of the following links, which can all be found through ICAN, have some really great information for first time mamas, second time plus moms, and even woman who aren't pregnant!
What is ICAN?
Cesarean Fact Sheet
Choosing A Primary Caregiver
Legal Rights For pregnant Woman
Professional Labor Support
Induction of Labor
Pushing Positions
Reading List
ICAN believes "A cesarean can be lifesaving for mother and baby, but is major surgery with all its risks. When a cesarean is truly lifesaving, the benefits outweigh the risks of major surgery. However, with those that are not medically necessary, the risks far outweigh the benefits."
Please fellow mama's and even non-mamas, inform woman. Empower them to take charge of their care because it isn't always an easy thing thing to do in today's over managed obstetrical model of Care. Remember you are a client of your OB/GYN or midwife. You are not a patient!
When I had my most recent cesarean it brought out many emotions that were new to me. Although I felt tricked with Landon's birth, this was different! This was a true and heart breaking let down. I didn't know the traumatizing feeling other woman felt, until Emmie came into this world. I unfortunately felt like she was just ripped out of me. How sad is it to fell as if the child you carried for nine plus months isn't even yours! But this is a feeling that all to many woman go through. Yes it is true that moms want a healthy baby, But it is also true woman want a birth that they can feel like they will cherish forever. Some woman, I include myself in this, feel like they will never be able to recover. Some simply won't!
The International Cesarean Awareness Network, ICAN for short, is an organization who is trying to help inform woman of the unnecessarily high cesarean rate.(Which is at an all time high of 32% as of 2007) The hospital my son was born at had a rate of 29.53%. These rates are truly unacceptable. Woman need to be informed of all their choices. Many woman of childbearing age have no clue about these things. I know as a former uneducated mama myself I knew nothing of cesareans or their sky rocketing rates. ICAN wants to let moms know their cesarean rights, their vbac rights and even vaginal birthing rights. Even if you are a first time mom, the the information ICAN gives on pregnancy can take you farther away from the possibility of an unnecessary cesarean. Some of the following links, which can all be found through ICAN, have some really great information for first time mamas, second time plus moms, and even woman who aren't pregnant!
What is ICAN?
Cesarean Fact Sheet
Choosing A Primary Caregiver
Legal Rights For pregnant Woman
Professional Labor Support
Induction of Labor
Pushing Positions
Reading List
ICAN believes "A cesarean can be lifesaving for mother and baby, but is major surgery with all its risks. When a cesarean is truly lifesaving, the benefits outweigh the risks of major surgery. However, with those that are not medically necessary, the risks far outweigh the benefits."
Please fellow mama's and even non-mamas, inform woman. Empower them to take charge of their care because it isn't always an easy thing thing to do in today's over managed obstetrical model of Care. Remember you are a client of your OB/GYN or midwife. You are not a patient!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)